Thirteen Reasons Why We Need Internet Access at Home
- We don’t need to worry about teleporting to the Mother’s work everyday. We have watched Star Trek and know all about molecular degradation.
- The Mother won’t get busted all the time for looking at Kitty Porn.
- We won’t have to teleport in and out every time a co-worker walks by (see #1).
- We can buy cat supplies all the time without listening to the Mother grumble about how expensive everything is.
- We don’t have to watch the Mother spending our hard earned money on dumb things like dog beds.
- No complaints about our getting cat hair on the Mother’s cubicle walls.
- No complaints about our sharpening our claws on the Mother’s cubicle walls.
- We don’t get our bums tapped when we politely chew on her plants.
- We can surf the Net while still laying on the bed!!!! Very important.
- Surf, eat, nap, surf, nap, nap, nap, surf, eat, nap, potty, nap, nap.
- Alright, alright……the dog can surf too. ::::shudder::::
- Cat/dog politics much easier to negotiate than office politics.
- No more reminders from the Mother that our surfing is keeping her from earning our kibble.